Brittle as Diamonds - Steven Universe
by Tatttletale
Summary: A little collection of drabbles mostly inspired by the latest episode, "Change Your Mind". Angst on the Diamonds!
1. Conditioned (Yellow)

_"Take them back to the Tower, now."_

 _"I. Won't."_

 _"Then I'll do it MYSELF."_

* * *

 _"You don't have to do this!"_

 _"Yes I do! This is what White Diamond expects of ALL of us! From a thin flake of Mica, to the deepest, hardest, STONE! We all must make sacrifices, for the sake of our PERFECT EMPIRE!"_

* * *

"Your first colony was an utter failure."

Yellow hung her head. She didn't need telling twice, but her superior seemed intent on reminding her of her shortcomings.

"I don't understand how you could manage to forego every single instruction I gave you and make such a fool of yourself. There shouldn't be _leeway_ for the inhabitants of a planet to _rebel_. You are _conquering_."

The smaller Diamond remained silent. As much as it hurt, she knew she must bear the criticism.

"Have you anything to say?"

". . . No."

"You have embarrassed us. You have embarrassed _me_. You know what we must do with defective Gems, don't you?"

She kept quiet. When she raised her head, White was glaring at her.

"We shatter them," she made herself say, voice quiet.

Even though she was only a head shorter than the largest Diamond, she felt so much smaller, so much more insignificant. Blue had done just fine on her first colony. Why couldn't she have done the same?

Yellow knew she had been given the harder planet, but that should be no excuse.

"We will talk later. You may go to your room."

And she followed her orders, slinking away through the large white doors.

* * *

". . . and all of you must be dealt with. You understand that our Empire must be flawless."

Even though she detested what had to be done, Yellow made no objections to her superior. Across the room, Blue looked just as irked, but she wisely held her tongue.

The Gems lined up in front of them gave their last salutes. The Amethyst looked on the verge of tears, arms framing her cracked gem.

"You're disgusting. I hope you're shattered someday," someone spat.

Yellow stiffened. Her eyes flicked down to a Lapis Lazuli, standing defiantly with her fists by her sides. The gem on her forearm was split but shone brightly.

"6B, shatter them," White droned, and the Topaz she spoke to moved forward, brandishing her weapon.

Yellow closed her eyes against the scene, but that did not stop her from hearing the sickening cracks of their gems being crushed.

* * *

Her sixth colony had been a success, and yet Yellow had heard nothing from White in the last few hundred years. Was she not doing well enough? Did she need to exploit more planets?

Blue was ahead of her with seven colonies, and she envied her greatly. White clearly favoured her blue counterpart over her, and she didn't understand why.

She promised herself she would do better.

* * *

The newest addition to the Authority was . . . different. She was so small, and even though her gem orientation mirrored White's, she seemed to be utterly helpless. She was childish and, quite frankly, annoying. Only yesterday Pink had bothered her about having a colony of her own, and she was barely one hundred years old!

Both Blue and White seemed to share an affinity for her, even though she acted like a brat much of the time. Yellow would have words with her counterpart in the near future. The so-called "Diamond" needed discipline.

Pink had found her in her sauna today. She presented her with some strange, multicoloured organic. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a rather erratic flower.

"I visited Blue's Andalusite colony," she said proudly, and brandished the plant. "I found this and it reminded me of you!"

She had to admit it was very yellow. And now, as the smaller Diamond all but shoved it in her face, she could see that though the petals were thin, they looked like stretched-out variants of her own gem.

She let her fingers brush the planes of her diamond.

"Yellow? Do you like it? You do, don't you?"

She was silent for a moment.

". . . It _is_ a pretty specimen."

Pink beamed at her. "I know! I gathered a whole bunch of them. I have them in every colour—they're in my room. I'm trying to plant them to make the Authority symbol. White would love it!"

Yellow sighed. "Plants can only grow in soil, Pink. There is no soil on Homeworld, least of all in your room."

The Diamond appeared to wilt (much like the flowers in her room were doing, no doubt). ". . . Oh."

After a few moments of thought, she seemed to brighten up. "But planets have soil on them! I can plant them on a planet!"

"Not all planets have soil on them."

"But Blue's has! I can just put them back there."

". . . No, you can't. By the time the colonisation is completed, there will be no minerals left in the soil. The plants will die."

Pink looked crestfallen. Yellow gazed at her steadily.

Suddenly, the tiny Diamond stomped her foot. "It's not fair! I can't do _anything_ I want! Why can't I have my _own_ planet?"

Her senior sighed again. "You're inexperienced."

"I'm a Diamond _too_! I deserve a colony!"

"To do what with?" Yellow snapped. "To waste our time and its resources growing organic life? White will _surely_ agree."

The young Gem shot her a poisonous look before storming out.

She needed to be taught a lesson.

* * *

The _nerve_ of that Gem!

She didn't even _act_ like a Diamond and yet she demanded her own worlds, her own Gems! It was one fad after another. First the flowers, then the pebbles she found on Nortira, and now colourful, wriggly organics from yet another of Blue's colonies.

Yellow had locked her in the Tower.

She needed to be taught how to be a Diamond. She couldn't go jeopardising colonies, disappearing on their planets and bringing back organics, leaving them with radio silence for days. It was nonsense.

And _still_ , White met regularly with her and Blue, laughing, indulging in themselves, leaving _her_ to do all the hard work. Everything was demanded of Yellow and yet nothing was given back. Some days she felt broken. The only support she ever got was from Blue, and yet she was always occupied with that bratty little Diamond.

She felt so alone. So unwanted.

* * *

Another Ball.

Even though she wouldn't admit it aloud, Yellow found the Balls amusing. There was something relaxing about watching Sapphires, Jades, Quartzes and clockwork Gems dance and drift together across the floor.

She glanced down at Pink. The little Diamond looked a little put out, but nevertheless she was always entranced to watch their Gems interact this way.

For a Gem created for one strict purpose, the youngest Diamond was certainly dynamic.

She was creative and, as Yellow found herself spending more time with her, thoughtful. From every colony she visited she brought back gifts for no reason at all. Yellow had the inkling Pink was forever trying to impress her.

She was intolerable at times, but she found herself warming to her. As much as she denied it in the beginning, she was bringing their family together, making it just that little more worthwhile to be around one other.

Pink lifted her gaze and was startled to meet Yellow's own eyes. She quickly recovered and beamed at her, gesturing at the multitude of dancing Gems.

Yellow nodded and smiled. Pink seemed satisfied and turned around, this time waving to get Blue's attention.

Pink's Balls were the only time Yellow got to see all her Gems so happy, free to forget their duties for the while and just enjoy themselves (in a uniform way, of course). Not even White could find a way to dampen her spirits here.

For the first time in centuries (perhaps since the time Blue emerged), Yellow found she was content.

* * *

Finally, Pink had been given her own colony, and she was ecstatic. Her joy was infectious and it affected even her new Pearl, who always seemed so serene.

Though Yellow had been too busy thus far to supervise Earth's progress with her, she had promised to take her down to receive her new Gems soon, to teach to her the courtly manners she must present herself with.

Though she was young, Yellow had confidence that the youngest Diamond was on her way to becoming a fully-fledged leader of her Court.

She would never let known her feelings to anyone else, but privately, just within herself, she vowed to keep Pink Diamond safe.

* * *

 **A/N:**  
 **I know, Yellow thinks things are finally going smoothly, and though Pink's excited about her new colony, she's at the unhappiest point in her life! You can hate me all you want :)**


	2. Trapped (Pink)

**_"Pink . . . White is very unhappy with you. If this keeps up, she's going to take away your Pearl."  
_**

* * *

 ** _"How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?"_**

* * *

Trapped again.

Pink Diamond blinked back tears as she gazed up at the world past the window. It seemed so far away.

The window was open, but she knew she couldn't leave her Tower. Only last time she had squirmed her way out and found her way back into the Pink Halls—but some Aquamarine had ratted her out to White, and she had been sealed in the Blackroom for a week.

The Blackroom, she knew now, must be used as some form of torture. As its name implied, it was completely dark inside—and completely silent, sealed off entirely from the outside world. Without light to refract, her gem had grown duller, and she weaker with it, until she could barely move. By the time Blue was notified about her situation and (hurriedly) came to fetch her, she was too weak to even voice what she had gone through.

It had taken her days to recover from that awful punishment. And now she was back in the Tower, all because she had picked up a few organics from Blue's colony.

She registered loud footsteps on the other side of the door and spun around to see Blue standing in the doorway. She looked mad.

"I cannot _believe_ you! Making a scene like that!"

"You were going to squash them! They have just as much right to live as us!"

Blue stepped into the room, letting the door slide closed behind her. She looked . . . relieved.

Pink bristled.

"What have you done with them!"

Blue looked offended. "What have _I_ done? What have _you_ done!" She paced past her, brows creased. " _You're_ the one that wanted to keep those organics from the Kyanite colony . . . I'm just the fool that let you!"

Pink turned, eyes following the larger Diamond. "Then what . . . why. . .?"

She didn't seem to hear her—or, at least, she gave no indication of having heard her. Blue stopped by the window, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.

The gesture reminded her of Yellow.

"Now your little . . . _pets_ are chasing the Pearls up and down the halls," Blue continued, and turned to face her. "What were you _thinking_ , letting them loose in the Ballroom? They could be anywhere!"

It was at that moment one of the said creatures peered out from behind a tuft of her hair, chirping in excitement. The taller Diamond squealed and promptly slapped it from her shoulder, sending it arcing through the air. It landed heavily in Pink's arms.

"Piiink!" Blue whined.

The creature babbled and curled around the former, nuzzling into her tufty hair. Blue wasn't impressed.

" _Ugh_ . . . _please_ , just . . . get rid of it!"

The younger turned and set it on the floor, watching as it squeezed through a gap in the wall panels and disappeared from view.

Behind her, Blue sighed.

"Pink . . ." her tone made her turn around. The taller Diamond looked out the window, almost wistfully. ". . . White is very unhappy with you." She paused. "If this keeps up she's going to take away your Pearl."

Her Pearl. . . Pink didn't think she could bear having her taken away, too. She was her only friend.

When she spoke, it was almost a whisper.

"I know . . . I'm sorry."

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and watched it splash to the floor. She gazed at the puddle for a moment, and then shifted her focus to the diamond against her navel.

She hated that diamond.

So many expectations, so many responsibilities, so many rules, just because of that stupid gem. If she actually had the power to affect change, she wouldn't mind it so much—but instead, it trapped her.

"Why do you _always_ do this, Pink?"

Her words reverberated inside her head. They sounded so pained.

She knew why she did it. She just couldn't tell anyone why.

* * *

 _"I DON'T WANT TO BE A DIAMOND!"_

Yellow had stared at her, shocked, and before she knew what was happening, she was back in the Tower, and the last thing she saw before the doors slid shut was her Pearl in Yellow's fist, gazing wide-eyed, fearful, at her Diamond.

And she was alone again. Now, more than ever.

She laid her head down on the floor. It was cool to the touch, solid. She closed her eyes.

It only felt like a few seconds later when she opened them again, but she noticed almost immediately that her mind was strangely cloudy. When she lifted her head, the light that had been shining from the window had dimmed. The sky outside was dark.

Her first thought was that she had been cracked. Frantically, she checked her gem, but it was intact—and, if anything, smoother than ever. She glanced up at the window again, confused.

The door chimed and she whipped back around to find Yellow in the doorway.

"White sent something for you," she said tersely. She crouched, set something on the floor, stood, and was gone.

Slowly Pink's eyes fell to the figure on the floor. A slender, dainty Gem, clad in a colourful dress, arms crooked in salute.

"Hello, my Diamond," she said.

Her voice was firm and crisp, and when she moved her head, the dim light caught on the rounded gem on her forehead. A Pearl.

"Where's . . . Where's my Pearl?"

Again, Pink could barely muster anything more than a whisper.

"I am your Pearl now, my Diamond."

Her eyes widened. "But Pearl—what happened to _my_ Pearl? Pink Pearl?"

There was a sad look in the Gem's eyes as she lowered her gaze. "She is in White Diamond's possession."

 _"What?"_ Pink gasped. "What is she doing! She can't take her! What does she think she—"

She stopped cold, Blue's words echoing in her head.

 _"White is very unhappy with you. If this keeps up she's going to take away your Pearl."_

The clarity washed over her like a cold wave. She had done it.

Now she really was alone.

She felt tears sting her eyes and turned away.

"I don't want you," she whispered.

There was a shocked silence.

". . . Pardon, my Diamond?"

"I'm _not_ your _Diamond_!" she lashed, and then broke down into sobs, shuddering in a little ball on the floor.

There were footsteps, and then a tiny hand on her arm.

She didn't know how long she stayed like that, knees pulled to her chest, crying into her arms. All she knew was that when she looked up, the Pearl was there in her lap, gazing up at her. The smaller Gem stood on tiptoes, and, hesitantly, wiped the tears gently from her face. Pink crumbled and wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight.

Even when she opened her eyes again in the morning, head cloudy, the Pearl was still there, right beside her. She hadn't moved an inch.


	3. The Decision (Pink)

**_"How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?"_**

* * *

"Why do you _do_ this to us, Pink?"

She closed her eyes against Blue's mournful reprimand. She would not cry this time. She would _not_.

"Why do you always lock me in here?" she murmured, almost to herself.

Blue's eyes widened and her lips trembled. "I . . . I can't believe you. You're shifting the blame onto _me_? Trying to put _me_ at fault?"

And suddenly, the room was awash with blue, knocking her to her knees. A heavy, hopeless weight settled in her chest and when she opened her eyes, all she could see was a blur.

"You're trying to blame _us_ when we do everything for you! We colonise planets to give you Gems, we plan your balls, we even manage your Court for you!—how can you be so . . . _selfish_?"

On the floor, Pink could only sob. She _hated_ being treated like this—but did she deserve it? Was it the only way to teach her? Yellow and Blue really were doing things for her all the time . . . maybe she really was selfish.

But it hurt too much.

"Blue! Stop!" she pleaded, trying to wipe away the flood of tears.

"Stop _what_?" the Diamond cried. "Making you see _reason_? You're barely a few thousand years old, Pink! You don't know what's good for you!"

" _This_ isn't good for me!"

 _"Enough!"_

Abruptly, the aura faded, and Blue wiped at her eyes, shooting Pink a disdainful glare. "You can stay here until you're ready to apologise."

And she sashayed out, leaving Pink in the dark.

* * *

 ** _"YOU'RE the one that wanted to keep those organics from the Kyanite colony . . . I'm just the fool that let you! Now your little . . . PETS are chasing the Pearls up and down the halls. What were you THINKING, letting them loose in the Ballroom? They could be anywhere!"_**

* * *

For the most part, keeping the organic lifeforms had only been a test.

Pink had wanted to see how the other Diamonds would react—and they hadn't acted favourably. Instead, she had been punished, and her Pearl taken away.

She had finally realised that they would never listen to her, no matter how much she begged and pleaded. That much was evident from the rebuttals they had only recently given to her on her case for Earth.

This beautiful planet and everything on it would die, all because of her. All because of _them_.

She hated it. The only person who ever talked to her— _treated_ her like a normal person was her Pearl, and she was _programmed_ to please her. She was sick of being struck down. She was sick of being confined. She was sick of being ignored.

The air above the panels in front of her still flickered, residue from her telecommunications with Yellow and Blue. Fine. If they shut her out, she would do the same.

". . . My Diamond? Are you alright?"

Slowly, she raised her eyes to meet her Pearl's. In that moment, she could see them together, frolicking on Earth, watching the organics . . . she turned to the window. The lush planet was spread before her, masked behind whorls of cloud.

Her face hardened.

When she clenched her fists, closed her eyes, she could see Rose Quartz in her mind's eye, free, happy, _beautiful_ . . . and she felt her body shift, her gem rotate.

When she opened her eyes again and looked down at herself, she could see Rose Quartz's body, Rose Quartz's gem . . . _freedom_.

She felt (rather than saw) her Pearl step back.

"My . . . My Diamond?"

She took a breath and turned to her. "Pink Diamond is gone. Pearl, let's save our Earth."


	4. Masquerade (Pink)

"Pink Diamond?"

The Gem in question hurriedly checked herself before taking a seat in her palanquin.

"Yes?"

A Hessonite entered and saluted. "The Nephrite fleet has landed. They are all positioned in strategic areas, as you requested."

The larger Gem nodded, fiddling with her hair.

"My Diamond instructed me to tell you to expect a signal from her soon."

The former jumped. She looked incredibly on edge.

"That is all," the Hessonite finished, and, saluting once more, she retreated through the curtains.

The seated Gem sighed in relief, visibly slumping, and the her form was whited out. The diamond against her navel disappeared as her figure shrunk, moulding, thinning. Instead, it was the genuine pearl that remained visible.

Pearl was left sitting upon the throne, pale and drained. She almost let herself close her eyes before a gust of wind blew the curtains inward, prompting her to jump down and slip into the shadows at the back of the palanquin.

The real Pink Diamond was out masquerading as her Quartz persona. She had left Pearl in charge of upholding her authoritarian image and conducting audiences. She had been confident that, seeing as she was White's original Pearl, she apply any colour she wished to her form. As usual, Pink had been right — but even with her bettered stamina, Pearl was finding it increasingly difficult to hold her cloned form. At times she had even been forced to project a tinted hologram of herself to act the Pearl — a newfound talent she found she had to hurriedly develop.

So far she had managed to dupe the Pink Court and other visiting Gems, but she doubted she could fool another Diamond the same way. If Yellow didn't pick up on her new ticks, she would certainly notice the change in her voice or her unusual silence.

It was at that moment the panel flashed yellow.

Instinctively, Pearl shifted hurriedly into Pink Diamond's form, brushing her hair down over her gem. She reached for the panel with a gloved hand, and then stopped.

She couldn't fool her.

Her heart stuttered in her chest as her mind raced. There was only really one thing to do. But if Yellow found out. . .

She squeezed her eyes shut, steeling herself, and melted back to her own form. Then, taking a deep breath, she answered the signal.

The viewing panel was projected into the air above her and Yellow Diamond's pinched face materialised onscreen. She looked faintly surprised upon noticing the smaller Gem, and then frowned.

"Where is Pink?"

"She is out inspecting the Nephrite positions, Ye—" she cut herself off, horrified, and hurriedly spoke again. "—Your Clarity."

Yellow Diamond opened her mouth as if to say something, took a breath, and closed it again. She cleared her throat.

"Well, can you notify her that I—" something like guilt flashed across her features and she began again. "Can you tell her that I have some plans she may want to look at."

"Yes, Your—"

"And that she's doing well."

And then she was gone.

* * *

Pearl had been tasked with answering quite a few more signals before she had the chance to speak to her Diamond again.

When finally a uniformed Rose Quartz walked through the curtains, Pearl gave a relieved sigh and ushered her inside. Pink Diamond, with what looked like regret, hurriedly shifted back to her dormant form and sat down.

"So. Has much happened since I've been gone?"

Pearl straightened. "Yes, my Diamond. I have messages from Blue and Yellow to—"

"Pearl."

She stopped and looked up. Her Diamond looked unsettled.

". . . Yes?"

"Can you . . . I don't want to be your Diamond. Please, can you call me . . . Rose?"

Pearl blinked. "Yes . . . My Quartz?"

Pink appeared to relax a little. "Just . . . Just Rose. Please."

Pearl barely had the space of mind to nod. "Y-Yes . . . I, ah. . ." her voice faded and she stood gazing at her Diamond for a moment. Pink seemed unfazed, slumping indelicately back against her throne.

"You said you had some messages?"

Pearl shook her head. "No. I mean— yes. Yellow Diamond requested I let you know she has some plans you might want to see. And she also said you're doing well." Pink was silent. "Blue wants to meet with you in her palanquin and she also wanted to let you know that your behaviour has been exemplary."

Pink Diamond's eyes were cold. "But I haven't been here."

Pearl froze.

Pink abruptly stood. "I need to get back to the Crystal Gems."

When she began striding for the curtains, Pearl's mind caught up and she rushed after her. "No, wait! My Diamond—"

"It's _Rose_ ," the latter hissed, shrinking as she went. In a matter of seconds she was back in her mock uniform, strawberry ringlets trailing down her back.

"Rose, please! Can't you stay? Just . . . Just for a little while! You only just got here!"

"You can handle it." She grabbed hold of a curtain. "If you've won Yellow's praise. . ."

She looked like she was about to say something else, but then she slipped into the evening, and was gone.

* * *

"I'm sorry I've been away so long," Pink Diamond said softly, and took a hold of her hand.

Pearl lowered her gaze. "It's . . . okay. I know you've been busy."

"I've missed you, Pearl."

Tears burned in her eyes. "I've missed you too. It gets so lonely."

"You know you're more to me than a Pearl. You're—"

"Pearl! _Pearl!_ "

She lurched back and Pink Diamond's hologram dissipated. When she spun around, she found Rose barging into the palanquin, white dress fluttering.

Pearl gasped. "Rose, your . . . your _dress_ — you'll get caught!—"

Rose paid her no mind, sweeping forward and capturing both her hands in hers. "It's wonderful! A Bismuth joined us today, and a whole horde of new Gems! We're getting stronger! Gems are joining _our_ side!"

Pearl could only gape dumbly, and Rose gave a light-hearted laugh. "They're all so wonderful! Oh, you'd _love_ to meet them! The Bismuth brought in pink Rubies, a yellow _Jade_ — and, in a few weeks, Blue will be holding a meeting at the Sky Arena! Bismuth can make us weapons! I've already asked for three swords!"

 _"Three?"_ Pearl stared at her.

Rose only laughed. "They're not all for _me_! She's going to make you a pair!"

Pearl felt light-headed. She was expected to fight for the Earth?

"Do you really think I . . . I'm important enough for that?"

Rose looked scandalised. "Of _course_! Pearl," she leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. " _You're_ the one that made this all possible. I would never have had the courage to come down here if it weren't for you."

She paused, and then, in a flighty sort of way, she leaned down and pressed her lips against Pearl's own.

Pearl's eyes widened, startled (but pleasantly so), and watched with some niggling regret as Rose pulled away again.

". . . What was that?" Pearl breathed.

"I see humans do it all the time! They're so interesting," Rose smiled, and, quite unexpectedly (which was, ironically, to be expected with Rose) she raised her arms and twirled the smaller Gem.

"Now, come _on_! Blue and Yellow won't notice. It'll only be for a couple of days. And then, when we finally save the Earth, it'll just be you and me, together."

"Together?" the Pearl echoed, dazed.

"Forever," she promised. Pearl felt the tension in her shoulders loosen.

". . . Alright." She mustered up a brave smile. "Let's go."

* * *

 **A/N**  
 **Oh my gosh is that a long chapter I see?**


	5. Angrier (White)

**_"Blue, don't make her any angrier than she already is!"_**

* * *

"White . . . we need to talk."

The luminous Diamond gazed down at her inferiors. Yellow had spoken. White herself hadn't uttered a word to her in a few thousand years.

"With Pink. . ." she could see Blue's grip tighten on the other's arm. "With Pink gone . . . it's— it's too much to expect of us. To keep colonising. We need a break."

White blinked. "You want to put the expansion of Homeworld on hold at your own expense?"

"Yes— no. We just . . . we just need a while. To get used to things."

"There is shortage as it is! Do you know how many Gems were shattered on that pathetic colony of hers?"

Yellow didn't say anything.

"And yet you want to stunt the growth of my Empire because the weakest Diamond has left us."

"She didn't leave," Blue spoke up. "She was—"

"She _left_ ," White hissed. "And got herself inundated in the process. She never did anything for any of us. Why should we care? You are _Diamonds_. You are the perfect Gems."

"Yes," Yellow fought. "But Blue and I feel—"

"That is irrelevant!" White snapped. "You shouldn't _feel_ anything! We don't do this for _ourselves_ — we do this for the good of Homeworld! You are being selfish." She narrowed her eyes at Yellow.

The robust Gem took a step back. "But I—" she turned to the other Diamond. "Blue?"

Blue said nothing. She kept her eyes on the floor.

"Go."

White Diamond's voice was firm and directed at Yellow. When the younger looked up, she looked shocked. "Bu—"

 _"GO!"_

With one last betrayed glance at her counterpart, Yellow turned on her heel and left. When the panels slid shut, Blue met her gaze.

"This was your idea?" she asked softly.

Blue shook her head vehemently. "No. No, never."

"Then you can go," she said sweetly. "You're up to your eighth colony, aren't you?"

". . . Yes."

"Then go on. You can continue with your duties."

As the door closed behind Blue, she was left alone, standing tall in her empty chamber.

* * *

Keep it together. Keep it together.

As soon as Blue had left that infernal pink light had spread through her, hollowing her out, pushing her to bring them both back and reconcile. But she had done what had to be done.

When she leant against a wall and thought about Pink, then streaks of blue had permeated her form. She felt depressed, stricken, broken. She hadn't wanted her to leave. Maybe she hadn't been shattered as the others thought, but she had _abandoned_ them.

Her hands blazed yellow. How _could_ she? How could she just leave and break them like this? Thinking about no one but herself, as usual. Plunging the future of the Great Diamond Authority and Homeworld as they knew it into jeopardy.

Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, ignoring the pang inside her at the organic action. They couldn't afford to fall behind. That was what leading an Empire was about — pushing aside one's own needs to cater to the needs of their Courts, of their Gems.

Those singular colour spectrums made her imperfect. It was why she had begun to hide. Perhaps she couldn't come out anymore but she could rule from afar.

She had to pull herself and the Empire together. Pink would come back sooner or later. It was inevitable.

* * *

 _"What are you DOING?"_

Her voice thundered through the room, the white panel in front of her flickering. Yellow Diamond was barely managing to stand her ground on the other end of the line.

"I've abandoned my duties as a Diamond," Yellow said, her voice quavering. "It's too much."

" _I_ am the judge of that!" White bellowed. "Your Court is revolting! You are waging war on Homeworld!"

"So be it." Yellow's face was ashen. "But I won't let you crush me and Blue."

White thrust her face close to the panel. " _Blue?_ The difference between you and Blue is that she is _successful_. She follows orders and she upholds her Court. Unlike _you_. You're just defective."

She could see Yellow struggling with something onscreen, her face twitching.

It was at that moment another panel opened in front of her — this time, blue. The initiator appeared onscreen.

"She's right," came Blue's softspoken voice, and she seemed to glance at something beside her. "Yellow, I'm sorry. I should have been honest. The truth is, neither of us can do this, White. We need time."

She felt her hands flush and, when she looked down, they were awash with a pale yellow. She hurriedly tucked them behind her back. "How dare you!" she seethed. "You are _Diamonds_. You are perfect! You can't—"

"Well we _are_!" Yellow snapped. "As long as I'm around, you will not break her like you've broken _me_!"

Blue and White stood still, shocked into silence. As she watched, the younger Diamond's eyes watered. "Yellow. . ."

 _"That's ENOUGH!"_

She could feel the pink seeping through too, blooming on her cheeks. She couldn't stand it. With a swipe of her hand, she sent the panels flying into the wall, fizzling out on contact. With a scream of rage, she swung herself against the wall, beating her fist against it over and over. The polished surface beneath her groaned, cracked, and split.

 _"I am your DIAMOND!"_ she screamed so all of Homeworld could hear. _"You listen and answer to ME! ALL OF YOU! Anyone— ANYONE who voices otherwise will be SHATTERED!"_

And with that last, furious shriek, there was an earsplitting _crack!_ and a distant boom.

* * *

She sat in darkness, head in her hands, legs tucked beneath her. When she finally mustered the courage to raise her head, she called for her Pearl, tugging the strings in her mind. Slowly, torturously, the Pearl inched into view, shoulders slumped, head hung low. When White lifted her head, the Pearl followed suit, and she gasped.

Her eye was gone. In its place was what looked to be a dent in her being. A crack ran from her eyeless socket, down her cheek and across her perfect curls.

Her first thought was panic. Yellow and Blue. Were they cracked? Were they _broken_?

She couldn't will herself to stand and go to their rooms. The eerie quiet told her that she had inflicted much more damage than she could have anticipated. So, instead, she raised her hands weakly and sent the Pearl out.

* * *

It had to be a few hours later that a cracked Pearl phased into Yellow's chamber. She stood to banish it, but, upon closer inspection, gasped. With wide eyes she took in the translucent skirts, the tight curls, the stretched smile and the crack running across its face.

"The amount of provisions on Homeworld has been severely compromised," the Pearl droned in White's chilling voice. "White Diamond demands production of all Gems be doubled. Production of Quartzes and Peridots are to be tripled. They are to be assigned to the rebuilding of Homeworld. You are also to bubble all your damaged and shattered Gems."

And then she was spirited away, back to the lion's den, leaving Yellow alone in her empty chamber.

* * *

 **This didn't turn out the way I wanted it to :( I don't like it hh**


	6. There For You (Yellow & Blue)

_"When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you! And you would use your power against ME?!"_

* * *

 _"Poor Yellow. Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. She's so strong . . . but so weak, when it comes to Blue. Ah, and Blue . . . her impurities soak up all of the warmth in her spectrum. She thinks she needs you, Pink."_

* * *

"I pushed her away — and now she's _gone_!"

Blue's mournful wail echoed through the chamber and from the floor, Yellow clenched her teeth, trying to keep the tears back. Though the other Diamond's aura had the chamber awash with blue, she felt a new spearing pain as Blue sobbed into her hands.

"It's my— it's _our fault_!"

Yellow squeezed her eyes shut. It wasn't their fault. It _wasn't_.

She shakily pushed herself up from the floor and reached out as she approached her counterpart. When Blue lifted her face, she let out another wail and flung her hands out. The room darkened and suddenly her vision was blurred. Her legs gave way and she dropped to her knees, brushing trembling fingers over her gem. A ragged gasp left her throat — any path to ease this pain, she would take it.

"Blue," she whispered, weak from the pounding in her chest. "Blue, stop—"

"I _can't_! I never did! We pushed her away and she's _shattered_! We'll never get her back! Never—"

A sob from Blue and Yellow was doubled over. It was _excruciating_.

"Never hear her laughter, see her _smile_ . . . no more jokes, no more— no more. . ."

 _"Please—"_

"You said you'd do this for me! You said you'd _help_!"

She had. She'd agreed to take her burden, to relieve her some — but she hadn't known it would feel like _this_.

"It . . . it _hurts_. . ."

"It hurts _me_! I _always_ feel like this — and you think _this_ is bad?" Another onslaught of sobs, and Yellow could swear she heard something inside her crack. "Every _day_ , I think about her — and she's never coming back! Every day I grieve!"

"Blue, stop! I don't want to—"

"You don't want to what?" The Diamond's eyes were wet, despairing. "You don't want to put up with me? Am I too much?"

"I never— I never said that," Yellow gritted, watching tears drop to the floor in front of her. "But—"

She felt like she was being _crushed_.

And then, it was over, and, shaking, she looked up at Blue.

She had her head hung, eyes downcast, mouth a trembling line. Her fists were clenched at her sides. "I knew it," she whispered. "I knew you wouldn't do this for me."

And she was gone, through the double doors and out of her chambers.

* * *

"Of course I would," she fought. "Of _course_ I'd do it for you."

Blue was silent, gazing out at the shape Homeworld cut against the sky. When she spoke, it was in a whisper.

". . . You're jealous of me, aren't you?"

Yellow reeled. "What are you talking about?"

"White never talks to you." Her eyes were sad as she met her gaze. "She doesn't encourage you the way she does for me. And. . ."

She paused for a moment, and then turned away.

"And? And what?"

Blue let out a sad huff. "Pink spent as much time as she could with me. She hardly came to see you, did she?"

Yellow took a step back. "She— I was busy! I had colonies to manage!"

"But that never stopped you from spending time with me."

. . . It was true. Every spare moment, she found herself making excuses, withdrawing from her responsibilities and taking the route to Blue's chambers. It was weak of her, she knew. But she couldn't help it. How could she stay away from the one person who ever showed her love?

". . . Do you love me?"

For a moment, Yellow was mortified, believing the words her own. But when she met Blue's gaze, she could see the question in her eyes.

She couldn't lie to those eyes.

"Yes," she breathed. How beautiful she was, gazing at her like that. "I . . . I always have."

Blue sighed and, after a moment, she moved forward to embrace her, resting her head against her flaring gem. ". . . I miss her so much."

Uncertainly, Yellow wrapped her own arms around the other. ". . . I know."

"Yellow?"

She tensed, looking down at her counterpart. Blue closed her eyes. "Please . . . can you help me let it out again?"

She opened her mouth to reply, to affirm, to deny the request, but her wide, lucid eyes stopped her short.

"It hurts."

She felt something inside her sink. Of course it did. If it were her, wouldn't Yellow feel the same? Wouldn't _she_ need someone to lean on?

She paused, and then took her hands in her own. "I'm here for you."

The other smiled sadly, and pressed a kiss to her gem. "I know."

And then her image distorted as she felt hot tears run down her cheeks, the world blue once again.

* * *

 **PROMPT: "I've got a request. How about Blue and Yellow mourning Pink after the corruption, that even though they lashed out it wasn't enough." — for Ways! Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	7. The Good (Pink)

_"Rose Quartz."_

The gravelly tone made her turn. There she was, standing in front of her, that perfect Jasper. Even with Gems fleeing in every direction, summoning weapons, advancing, the Quartz seemed to stand above everything else.

Rose narrowed her eyes. "Jasper. What do you want?"

She grinned. Her smile was wide and threatening. "Isn't that obvious? I want to _crush_ you." Her eyes hardened. "You and all your defective Gems."

She wouldn't be beaten by this Gem. She was a _Diamond_.

She shot her the iciest glare she could manage. "And _why_ do you want that, Jasper? Why do you sentence our planet to destruction?"

" _Pink Diamond's_ planet," the Quartz seethed. Something in her stony expression trembled. "Pink _Diamond's_ planet deserves better than _you,_ you _FILTH_!"

Rose took a subconscious step back. The Quartz quickly filled the distance. "You defective, pathetic, overcooked _FILTH_! She was your _DIAMOND_!"

"Well, maybe I didn't want to be _imprisoned_ anymore," she bit back. "Wouldn't you rather be _free_? Free to make your own decisions? To live your own life?"

"The only reason I have a life is because of Pink Diamond," Jasper hissed. She lunged forward, and Rose raised her shield, tensing against the impact. When she lowered it again, Jasper was standing, her visor cracked. Her eyes were wet.

"She was _everything_ I had to live for," she growled, and her voice quaked. "I _loved_ her. _Everyone_ loved Pink Diamond. And you had to TAKE HER AWAY!"

"Rose!"

She spun just in time to see Snowflake disappear in a puff of smoke. Her mottled gemstone clinked to the ground. Bismuth was still holding her own against the Homeworld Citrine.

"Rose, _help_!" Bismuth begged her, and Rose raised her sword, launching herself forward.

 _"ROSE!"_

 _Poof!_

She stopped in her tracks. Pearl's gemstone rolled to a stop at her feet, and when she looked back up at Jasper, she blinked back furious tears.

"I only met with Pink Diamond _once_ ," Jasper gritted, and Rose is ready to attack her, to cut her down. She clenched her teeth and brandished her sword—

"But I know she loved me!"

The words arrested her motion. She stared, dumbfounded, at the looming Quartz. Tears were flowing freely down her patterned face. "She loved me," she whispered. "And I loved her too. She was my everything. And you shattered her."

Jasper swiped an arm across her face and glared with hatred at Rose. "Have _you_ ever felt loved?"

* * *

 _Pink swings her legs to the music. Before her, Gems belonging to all the Courts are dancing in tandem, swaying, swinging, gliding across the floor. How she_ longs _to jump down and dance along with them . . . but these festivities are for her beloved Gems, not for herself._

 _And, she smiles to herself, look how blissful they are._

 _She turns and looks up at Yellow. She is startled to see her gazing back at her with bright eyes._

 _The larger Diamond's eyes are soft, and Pink beams up at her, swinging her arm out at the multitude of dancing Gems. Yellow nods and smiles in return, and, happily, Pink whips back around to wave at Blue._

 _Later, at the closing of the Ball, her Pearl catches her alone. "Oh, my Diamond, it's wonderful! They all love you!"_

 _She laughs tenderly. "As much as you do, my Pearl?"_

 _"Oh, don't tease me! Look, look!"  
_

 _The Gem on her navel lights up and in front of her is projected an imagining of a pair of higher class Gems — Jades, Pink thinks to herself._

 _The two Gems hold hands and gaze at her —_ down _at her. "Oh, please tell Pink Diamond how wonderful we think she is!" beams the first. She cups the gem on her cheek in excitement._

 _"Yes," smiles the other, composed. "We greatly enjoy her festivities. Many Gems, we know, look forward to her Balls."_

 _"Oh, yes, they most certainly do!" chimes the first. "We all adore your Diamond, Pearl! She makes us so happy!"_

 _And the imagining dissipates, leaving Pink stunned, but pleasantly flushed._

 _"Pearl," she whispers. "Is that a memory?"_

 _"Yes! Yes, of course!" Her excitement is palpable. "It's all true, every moment of it!"_

* * *

The night sky stretched gloriously above them. The gentle lapping of the waves echoed back along the beach.

"Rose . . . do you ever think about home?" Pearl asked, her voice soft.

She blinked. _Home?_

When she raised her eyes to the gorgeous dome of the sky, spattered with stars, one in particular caught her attention.

Her expression darkened. ". . .Oh."

"I suppose. . ." Pearl continued. "Don't you ever miss . . . them? Blue? Yellow?"

When Rose spoke, her voice was sharp. _"No."_

Pearl, lying back in the grass, seemed to jump at her tone, but rolled her head shyly towards her. ". . . Why not?"

"The Diamonds . . . I was never treated like they treated each other. I wasn't someone to them. I was just . . . just the last piece of the puzzle."

Silence. Seconds ticked by, then minutes. Rose had just begun to drift off when Pearl spoke again.

". . . They did care about you, you know."

Since her and Garnet's forming Sardonyx, Pearl had become increasingly confident. Rose would be proud of her, if she hadn't picked such a controversial topic.

Rose scoffed. "Well, they didn't act like it, did they."

A small pause.

"Well . . . they did give you the Earth. Before . . . Before I was given to you, I overheard White Diamond discussing the entire Solar System with the others. She planned to give it all to you."

Rose didn't answer. As the gentle breeze blew, curls tickled her cheeks, and she gazed up at the indicator of the Homeworld galaxy. _Home. . ._

* * *

 _"Blue! Blue, watch out!"_

 _Pink charges in ahead of White, taking a great leap and splashing right into the other Diamond's relaxation pool. When she surfaces, Blue laughs, shaking sodden locks from her eyes._

 _"My, Pink, and what has you so excited, hm?"_

 _"White, White! Tell her what you did!"_

 _Blue smiles up at White, and the larger Diamond rests herself on the edge of the platform._

 _"I decided it was time for my Starlight to become properly integrated into our Authority."_

 _"She gave me a ship, Blue!"_

 _Pink splashes over to the Diamond and scrambles up to sit on her knees, poking above the water._

 _"A ship of my very own! And it's_ HUGE _! It's a pair of legs_ _— pink legs_ _— and White told me they fit together with her head and your and Yellow's arms!"_

 _"Oh, that's just wonderful, Pink!" Blue coos, and lifts her with both hands up to her face. She plants a soft kiss on her head and shoots White a mischievous look. "Your leg ship is_ centuries _overdue, if I'm to be completely honest."_

 _"I love it, White! Thank you!"_

 _White gives a small smile, reaching out to stroke her hair. "Anything for my Starlight."_

* * *

"Do you . . . miss your home planet?"

"No. Never."

As she sat, thinking, perched upon the Temple warp pad, she admitted to herself, quietly, that that wasn't quite true.

Amethyst was a very capable Gem, indeed, but her childish ways, and the Crystal Gems' reception to them, reminded Rose very much of herself and the other Diamonds, at times.

Sometimes, she caught herself thinking about the rays of light in her Homeworld life. She had left because of the darkness, but sometimes, she wonders, could she have expanded those tiny rays of light herself?

If she had worked harder, could she, really, have brought her family together, or would she always be looked down upon, as was the way?

Abuse, humans called it. But only in recent times.

Over the centuries, she had approached many humans, and posed for them the hypothetical scenario. In the beginning, when humans still hunted and gathered, and indeed, through the times, until only very recently, they had told her that's how their lives had always been. Only in the past ten to twenty years had people told her that that sort of treatment was not right.

It made her doubt herself sometimes, and increasingly often. So many humans had endured what she had, but they had lived with it. They had not put up a fight. They had taken the light in their lives and cherished it.

Should she have done the same? Could she have lived happily on Earth with her family?

Could she have let herself by loved by them?

* * *

 _"Your Zoo is really very interesting, Pink."_

 _Pink, gazing down at the humans' enclosure with Yellow, sighs softly. This isn't what she had wanted. Though they are fascinating, and incredibly adaptable, these humans should be free on their planet._

 _She has to admit, they do seem much happier now. She has observed them over the years, and this current generation has to be the second since their capture. Now, they thrive in their artificial environment, and they enjoy themselves regardless._

 _What she can't forget about them is their purpose_ _— their sole purpose, just to exist. Humans aren't born or created, like Gems, to serve, to work. They are born to live, and that is all._

 _"Perhaps we can 'preserve' some other organic species in more tailored Zoos."_

 _She starts at that, and, plastering a quick smile on her face, she reassures Yellow. "Oh no, it's really alright. The humans . . . The humans are wonderful by themselves, really."_

 _"But you do enjoy keeping them, don't you?" Yellow observes. When she turns her gaze on Pink, her expression is tender. "Wouldn't you like some more variety? I know you'll get bored of these organics eventually." She laughs. "But if we got you some more . . . well, you'd be entertained for millennia, wouldn't you? And you could conduct scientific research on your organics, make some use out of them. If you wished, I could help you with that."_

 _Pink is feeling herself grow hopeful. If Yellow wants to preserve so many species for her. . ._

 _"Why don't we just preserve Earth?" She asks. "That way, I can keep all the organics in their natural environment!"_

 _Yellow sighs. "We've been over that, Pink. If you wish to help expand our Empire, you must carry through colonising your planet."_

 _There's a bitterness flaring in her chest. Why won't they just listen? She's about to talk back to Yellow when an alarm blares and the lighted walls pulse. There's a thundering sound echoing down the hall._

 _Yellow straightens and pulls her to stand behind her for protection. A horde of Amethyst guards_ _— they're all so original, so unique! Pink thinks to herself_ _— skid to a stop in front of Yellow._

 _"And what do you think you're doing?" The Diamond reprimands._

 _One of the guards gulps. "Uh, Your Clarity. . . One of the humans has breached the enclosure gateway."_

 _Yellow tuts and steps aside, pulling Pink gently with her. "Very well. Go see to your duties, then."_

 _Pink tugs at Yellow's hand. "Yellow! Can I_ _— Can we please go with them? I'd love to help with the humans!"_

 _"Certainly not!"_

 _Yellow's tone is sharp, and Pink slumps, watching the army disappear around the corner._

 _Yellow tugs at her hand and, when Pink looks up, her expression is tender. "We wouldn't want you getting hurt."_

 _She glances one last time through the window and into the Zoo. "Now, let's get you back to your Earth base, hm? We can contact Blue from there. I'm sure she'd love to hear about your progress."_

* * *

As her gem glows, she can feel her light form dissipating, retracting, and it's painful.

But she will not do anything to stop it. She wanted — _wants_ this child with Greg, and she knew he and the Gems would look after them.

She already loves her child more than she feels she has the right to, considering she has never even seen them, never known them. But she adores them, her child, her human child, all the same.

Gazing up at the Gems through happy and pained tears, she can see they are all distraught. She wishes she can tell them how much they mean to her, but she has no strength left to. All she can do is trust that her child, her wonderful child, will show them that love themselves.

As she fades away, she thinks about the Bad, and the Good, and bids her families, both of them, goodbye. Perhaps she can make a better difference in this world. . .

With Steven.

* * *

 **PROMPT: "I know that Pink was abused by the other diamonds but I am just wondering if you will highlight the good memories she had with them. I would love to see more of their relationship as they seemed to genuinely love her in certain parts of the show." — for cat4139! Hope you enjoyed! :)**

 **P.S. Can you spot the secret cameo?**

 **P.P.S. "Already she loves more than she feels she has the right to"; revised line found in _we will share_ by telanaris on AO3! It was just so beautiful, I couldn't help it. If you like The Arcana and looking after Julian and smut you will looooooveee telanaris.**


	8. AN: Abuse in this Story

**Conditioned: Intimidation**

In this chapter, White Diamond intimidates Yellow and Blue by demonstrating her power in front of them. If you managed to pick it up, her statement that "all defective Gems must be rid of" is actually a subtle threat to both Yellow and Blue; an insinuation that if they don't perform properly, they too will be shattered.

Abusers will try to intimidate you by demonstrating their power in this sort of way (with other people _or_ with you), and by threatening you to an undesirable and _unreasonable_ (1) situation in order to get something from you (eg. information, money, items, behavioural improvement etc.).

 **Trapped: Prolonged Confinement**

The heading says it all. Prolonged confinement or restraint (or even the threat of it) is a tool used by abusers to demonstrate their power or to get something from you (see above). This also amounts to neglect(2) — stashing a child away and forgetting about them for the time being.

 **The Decision: Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting**

No matter how many things your parents or family members do for you and how much care they show you, it _isn't_ okay if they abuse you. This is something I've lived with, and it's called emotional manipulation. The abuser is guilt-tripping you (even if it's involuntary) and making you feel bad about doubting them; making you feel like you deserve the punishment they deal out to you.

Blue Diamond also gaslights Pink in this chapter. Gaslighting is making you doubt your credibility, your memory and even your own sanity by repeatedly insisting you're wrong, repeatedly asking for your view over and over, suggesting you may have dreamt it, and telling you you're young, hormonal, mentally ill, delusional or even crazy all in order to undermine your own thought processes.

 **Angrier: Invalidating Feelings and Unfair/High Expectations**

I don't think this is registered as an official form of abuse but it sure isn't right. Invalidating someone's feelings and forcing them to push their depression/anxiety/grief etc. down is cruel and unhealthy. Above that, expecting someone to continue with their work in grief — much less doubling their burden — is completely immoral.

 **There For You: Invalidating Feelings and Emotional Manipulation**

See "The Decision" and "Angrier" (above).

 **Footnotes**

1\. " _Unreasonable_ threats" — Telling a misbehaving child that they will have no dessert, no television, be sent to time-out etc. is _not_ abuse. Threatening social isolation, confiscation of basic needs, starving etc. _is_ abuse. Talk to someone if you're not sure about the extent of your situation.

2\. "Neglect" — I have realised this sounds a bit like Pearl's situation in "❀ Masquerade ❀". This isn't the case. Pink and Pearl are working together, and while Pearl is feeling neglected, she isn't being abused. The abused Pink is prone to overexcitement and tends to neglect others' needs, but she isn't malicious. My Pink eventually realises, when she gets what she wants, that she needs to look after those close to her, too, and tries to make amends (even though she doesn't admit this to the Gems).


End file.
